Fear – What it does to you and how to Deal With it!
I’ve heard fear defined as an emotional response caused by a perceived threat or unwanted happening. When faced with the unknown; fear can cause us to stop dead in our tracks. Sweat forms on our brows and armpits and our mind races a thousand miles per second. Do I go forward? Do I go back? Do I stand still? What should I do? What should I say? This might happen! That might happen! I don’t know!
Most of the time we make the decision to retreat or do nothing at all. Our mind tells us it’s better to go back to the way things were; at least we’ll know what to do; it’s safe. Sometimes, we are so paralyzed with fear that we stand still and do nothing at all. We hope that someone or something will come along and make the decision for us. This plan of action rarely works out well for us. It’s not in our best interest.
When in these situations I’ve found that it is best to stop, find a quiet place, take a few deep breaths and then take the emotion out of the situation. I look at each of my concerns to determine the likelihood of them happening and what actions could be taken if they do. I ask, could I grow from them? Will it benefit my life in the long run? Will it help someone else? Even if it makes life difficult could it still be good for me? After that I look at the benefits and weigh them against my list of concerns. Most of the time the benefits far out weigh the potential issues. When employing this method I find that it’s much easier to make an informed decision with confidence. There are even instances where I’ve found that many of the perceived issues were unfounded. It was just me jumping to conclusions.
Next time you are faced with taking action and fear grips your heart employ this method. Even if you are in a situation where an immediate response is required. Ask for a few minutes to think it through.
I Can’t ! or Can I ?
Have you ever been in a situation where you are being asked to do something you’ve never done before? Sometimes things you’ve never even heard of! The first thing that comes to your mind are the words “I can’t” ! These are two tiny words that weigh a ton and cast a huge shadow over you.
Your confidence is immediately shaken the second they come out of your mouth. Your mind is racing to find a graceful way out of the situation. While you’re searching for the right words you are also saying maybe I can do this. Hmm, wonder what’s required ? Should my final answer be no? You go back and forth until the final excuse comes out of your mouth.
When faced with this situation you should remember a couple of things. First, everyone has found themselves in situations like this. Second, we are all afraid to fail or look bad. And third, no one likes being put on the spot.
Instead of immediately jumping to the idea that you can’t do something perhaps you should consider that you could or at least be willing to try. I’ve found that when I take a deep breath and push the “I can’t” to the side and go ahead and say “I can” I turn out to be the winner. I may not do an exceptional job but I get the job done. I learn so much about myself… First, Yes I can do it!. Second, I have expanded my knowledge. Third, I usually have increased my number of contacts or friends. And fourth, I’ve gained the respect of my peers because I stepped out of my comfort zone and took the lead on that endeavor.
Next time you find yourself in this situation consider saying yes, I can. Even if you need help getting it done you’ll still come out a winner.
Re-Dream your Dreams!
When working to reach your goals or dreams it can be a very difficult time. Sometimes you’re told by friends and even family that you need to give up and settle for less. Stop struggling. After all you’re not special; you’re one of us. After hearing this over and over again your struggle becomes that much harder. A lack of confidence starts to creep in due to this unsolicited feedback.
After a while you gain your footing and you tell yourself somewhat halfheartedly that they are wrong. You start down that road toward your goals or dreams once again. You start to climb that mountain only to be told that you don’t have the right shape, the right color hair or whatever nonsensical things they come up with to make you feel less than.
After a few rounds of this you are ready to throw in the towel. The sentiments of your friends and family are beginning to echo in your your ears and you’ve had enough. Instead of giving up on your dreams know that you can achieve them. You just need to remind yourself why you started this journey. You need to re-dream your dreams.
Try this… write down each of your goals or dreams. Jot down all of the reasons why you wanted to attain these goals or dreams. Visualize yourself attaining each one. Jot down how it feels when you see yourself attaining your goals or dreams. Do this each time the journey gets rough and you need to reinforce your dreams or goals.
If you are having difficulty identifying your goals or dreams or determining next steps I would love to help. Click below to sign up for a complimentary 30 minute consultation.